Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls. the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.
I have always really liked these verses spoken in Gods word about the importance of having a friend. After reading this the other day I wondered about the frequency of the mentioning of friendship in the Bible. So I started to look into all the scriptures that mention friendship and found that "friend" or "friendship" is mentioned over 172 times throughout the Old and New Testament.
In Exodus 33:11, it says that God spoke with Moses "as a man speaks to a friend".
Even though this is one sentence, I believe it speaks multitudes about what a God centered friendship should look like. God spoke with Moses directly, intimately with campassion and love, "face to face".
Also in Job 42 we see Gods mercy upon the "friends" of Job, because of the prayers of Job. These "friends" had not given the best counsel to Job. In verse 7 it says," My wrath is kindled against you and against your two friends, because you have not spoken of Me what is right , as My servant Job has". God tells Eliphaz to take burnt offering to Job and Job will pray for them , so the Lord will not do "according to your folly". Wow! What a powerful picture of the importance of friendship. God spared Jobs friends because of Jobs relationship with God! These friends were not the greatest of support for Job as he went through this trial. Yet God saw that Job loved them and He spared them what they deserved, all because of Job!
With as many times as the Bible speaks about friendship, we can't read the Word and come away with anything other than the importance God has placed upon frienship. One of the greatest things that stands out to me as I read over some of these friendships, is the fact that they were all "involved" in each others lives. From Job and his friends, Jonathon and David, to Ruth and Naomi, just to mention a few, we see each one was involved in the day to day goings on in each others lives. We can really learn a lot by these examples in comparison to modern day friendship. Now, obviously there are exceptions but since the beginning of this journey in the "Friendships of Women", I have spoke to so many women who say they have friendships yet they feel so alone and isolated. I believe this stems from the extreme change in our culture of the definition and meaning of friendship.
It is becoming a rarity to see friendships that are more than the occasional meeting to "go" do something together or to just seeing each other at group gatherings. Or friendships that stand the tests of time. And even these seem to be relationships that have stood the time only because they have lacked real day to day involvement, and seem to be defined as long lasting only due to the length of time since their meeting. Many women have told me either they are just too busy or those they desire to become close to are just too busy. Too busy to invest time in anothers life just doesn't sound like the examples I find in Gods word. In our modern times of finding ways to cram as much into one day as humanly possible, we seem to be weeding out there very things God has told us are essential to living a Godly life. Connection with others. Others outside our family walls! We have become so wrapped up in ourselves, our homes, our children, our sports, our entertainment, our hobbies that we slowly, or maybe not so slowly have wandered away from real connection in others lives. This brings back to mind the popular saying several years back that is wasn't the quantity of time you spent with others that mattered most it was the quality of the time spent! I don't see this to be a true statement according to these examples of friendship given us in scripture though.
I do believe throughout life God brings many kinds of friendships. Some can be just for a season of time, others can be in our lives for much longer periods of time. The most important thing we can gain from reading through the friendships given to us as examples in the Bible, I believe is the depth of friendship. Everyone of the frienships we see in Gods word were friendships deep into each others lives. One supporting the other in hard times through prayer and in tangible ways of provision.
The vision for the "Friendships of Women" groups now forming at BCC is Connections with depth! When one falls, the other is there to lift up! Using Gods word and wisdom as our anchor in building of friendships with other women. That every woman who desires connection has a safe place to go , a "warm" place to connect with other women, and to build relationships that will be there to pray and share in hard times and to rejoice and praise with you in the good times, "face to face". So that we can be about the Fathers business in strength and boldness and in unity with each other, following through with the last commission of Jesus to "go" out and preach the good news to the far ends of the earth.
If you haven't signed up yet to be in one of the "Friendships of Women" groups, I encourage you to do so soon. Come be a part and get connected! Our kick-off is scheduled for January 23rd at the church, from 10:00 to 12:30. There are registration forms at the information desk and on the counter in the foyer. You can leave them at the information desk after you fill them out and they will get to me, and if you have any questions please feel free to call me 734-856-4397.
If your new to BCC, what a great way to meet new friends! And even if you've been a part of the body at BCC for many years, there's lots of new people to meet, so come on and get signed up and get connected!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
What Is "Friendships Of Women"?
Let me start from the very beginning.
About two years ago the Lord began to birth within me a desire to learn about mentoring. I spoke with a couple of ladies at our church who also felt the move of God in this area. A couple of us attended seminars and conferences teaching on the subject of mentoring. Then last June I had the privledge of attending an incredible conference through Proverb 31 Ministries, in North Carolina. During those four days God was continually pouring into my heart, so much so I was literally moved to tears asking Him what I was to do with all He placed upon my heart. What I felt I received in response was,"do nothing, just wait". Ughhhhh! Not exactly what I wanted to hear. I wanted to move on it, and I wanted to do it now!!!! Patience is not my strongest character trait!
I now see so many of the reasons the Lord was having me wait. There was much He was putting into place, and still much He was showing me.
Since this time I have had conversation after conversation with women who have been struggling in the area of friendships within the church. Many feeling they were like the new girl in high school, when everyone already has their best friends and you just don't fit in anywhere or with anyone. Women who have experienced being hurt by another so they have put up walls around their hearts. Women who have been snubbed by others, out of jealousy or resentment, whether, real or imagined. Some of these women weren't women new to the church many have been part of the body of Christ for years. Women who have served faithfully on numerous occasions throughout the years. The lonliness they described just broke my heart.
As I have prayed about all of this I get a great sense that this is breaking God's heart as well, and it's not the way it's suppose to be. God has created us women so much differently then man when it comes to relationships. We need each other and we crave close friendships with other women.
This past spring a friend invited me to go hear a speaker by the name of Dee Brestin, who wrote the book titled, "The Friendships of Women". This book was originally published over thirty years ago but was recently revised with an added Bible study companion. As I sat listening to Dee speak that day, throughout the entire day I kept getting those, chills or holy bumps as one of my friends refers to them. I knew the Holy Spirit was moving within me to purchase the study materials. It wasn't until I returned home and throughout the next few days the Lord gave me a vision for ministry for women in the body of Christ. Not only a ministry to learn about friendships but the Lord showed me how He wanted to tie in mentoring. After this vision, once again I am hearing "wait". Ughhhhh I would love to be able to say I have done this waiting patiently but then I wouldn't be being honest.
Once again, in hind sight, I now see why the Lord was having me wait. Throughout this time my mother was diagnosed with cancer and she has since gone on to be with the Lord. Yet, even in this the Lord was showing me and teaching things about friendship and mentoring that would be vital to the forming of this ministry.
We have been pulling together leaders and hosts, women who will be opening their homes and hearts to meet with five other women on a weekly basis, on various days and times, to not only go through the Friendships of Women Bible study, but to build relationships. To help pull together a group of women who can get to know each other, and live life together! Every woman, whether your a social butterfly or not will benefit from being a part of one of these groups. If your a woman with many friendships this study is made for you. It covers the sticky topics of friendship that very seldom get talked about, and then when it happens your friendship usually falls apart. It doesn't have to be that way, nor should it be that way! If your not so social and find it hard to meet other women, here's your opportunity to not just meet others but really get to know them. We can learn how to build friendships with God as our center and friendships with those that have learned much already and are eager to share their experiences. God gave us His word that we could learn by those who have gone before us, He gave us this example. Yet we don't often in our current culture utilize the wisdom of those who have traveled this road we call life a little bit longer than we have. We are to learn from them, and then share that wisdom with the ones following us along the way. These groups will be as multi-generational as participating women allow.
Now the time has come and on January 23, 2010, we at Bedford Christian Community will have our Kick-Off for the Friendships of Women study groups.
Between now and this time get a questionaire form at the information desk, fill it out and leave it with them at the desk, they'll get it where it needs to go. Then on January 23rd, from 10am til 12pm come to the church to view the video teaching from Dee Brestin, and get hooked up with your group! And if you have any questions feel free to give me a call at 734-856-4397.
And check back here from time to time as I post on the topic of friendship and mentoring. Iwill
try to add links to others sites on these topics as well. Have mercy on me in understanding this site is a work in progress and I spend more time trying to figure out how to do something than the actual task itself will take when it comes to my computer! another ughhhhh!
Be blessed and in His presence, allowing Him to wrap you in His peace as He guides us all throughout our lives together, in One with Him, for nothing but His glory!
About two years ago the Lord began to birth within me a desire to learn about mentoring. I spoke with a couple of ladies at our church who also felt the move of God in this area. A couple of us attended seminars and conferences teaching on the subject of mentoring. Then last June I had the privledge of attending an incredible conference through Proverb 31 Ministries, in North Carolina. During those four days God was continually pouring into my heart, so much so I was literally moved to tears asking Him what I was to do with all He placed upon my heart. What I felt I received in response was,"do nothing, just wait". Ughhhhh! Not exactly what I wanted to hear. I wanted to move on it, and I wanted to do it now!!!! Patience is not my strongest character trait!
I now see so many of the reasons the Lord was having me wait. There was much He was putting into place, and still much He was showing me.
Since this time I have had conversation after conversation with women who have been struggling in the area of friendships within the church. Many feeling they were like the new girl in high school, when everyone already has their best friends and you just don't fit in anywhere or with anyone. Women who have experienced being hurt by another so they have put up walls around their hearts. Women who have been snubbed by others, out of jealousy or resentment, whether, real or imagined. Some of these women weren't women new to the church many have been part of the body of Christ for years. Women who have served faithfully on numerous occasions throughout the years. The lonliness they described just broke my heart.
As I have prayed about all of this I get a great sense that this is breaking God's heart as well, and it's not the way it's suppose to be. God has created us women so much differently then man when it comes to relationships. We need each other and we crave close friendships with other women.
This past spring a friend invited me to go hear a speaker by the name of Dee Brestin, who wrote the book titled, "The Friendships of Women". This book was originally published over thirty years ago but was recently revised with an added Bible study companion. As I sat listening to Dee speak that day, throughout the entire day I kept getting those, chills or holy bumps as one of my friends refers to them. I knew the Holy Spirit was moving within me to purchase the study materials. It wasn't until I returned home and throughout the next few days the Lord gave me a vision for ministry for women in the body of Christ. Not only a ministry to learn about friendships but the Lord showed me how He wanted to tie in mentoring. After this vision, once again I am hearing "wait". Ughhhhh I would love to be able to say I have done this waiting patiently but then I wouldn't be being honest.
Once again, in hind sight, I now see why the Lord was having me wait. Throughout this time my mother was diagnosed with cancer and she has since gone on to be with the Lord. Yet, even in this the Lord was showing me and teaching things about friendship and mentoring that would be vital to the forming of this ministry.
We have been pulling together leaders and hosts, women who will be opening their homes and hearts to meet with five other women on a weekly basis, on various days and times, to not only go through the Friendships of Women Bible study, but to build relationships. To help pull together a group of women who can get to know each other, and live life together! Every woman, whether your a social butterfly or not will benefit from being a part of one of these groups. If your a woman with many friendships this study is made for you. It covers the sticky topics of friendship that very seldom get talked about, and then when it happens your friendship usually falls apart. It doesn't have to be that way, nor should it be that way! If your not so social and find it hard to meet other women, here's your opportunity to not just meet others but really get to know them. We can learn how to build friendships with God as our center and friendships with those that have learned much already and are eager to share their experiences. God gave us His word that we could learn by those who have gone before us, He gave us this example. Yet we don't often in our current culture utilize the wisdom of those who have traveled this road we call life a little bit longer than we have. We are to learn from them, and then share that wisdom with the ones following us along the way. These groups will be as multi-generational as participating women allow.
Now the time has come and on January 23, 2010, we at Bedford Christian Community will have our Kick-Off for the Friendships of Women study groups.
Between now and this time get a questionaire form at the information desk, fill it out and leave it with them at the desk, they'll get it where it needs to go. Then on January 23rd, from 10am til 12pm come to the church to view the video teaching from Dee Brestin, and get hooked up with your group! And if you have any questions feel free to give me a call at 734-856-4397.
And check back here from time to time as I post on the topic of friendship and mentoring. Iwill
try to add links to others sites on these topics as well. Have mercy on me in understanding this site is a work in progress and I spend more time trying to figure out how to do something than the actual task itself will take when it comes to my computer! another ughhhhh!
Be blessed and in His presence, allowing Him to wrap you in His peace as He guides us all throughout our lives together, in One with Him, for nothing but His glory!
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